Increasingly, girls are aggressively pursuing boys-in high school, middle school, and even earlier-in numbers we never saw in the past. But a growing number of parents like Tom and Susan are learning that something has shifted in our culture over the last few decades. Sex among teenagers is old news, unfortunately, as are the trends of aggressive boys pursuing girls, men pursuing women, and adult women pursuing adult men.
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They knew they would someday need to talk with Josh’s younger sisters about how to handle boys who wanted sex, but they never expected this. In a daze, she found her husband and filled him in. Josh has never had a girlfriend, never even kissed a girl, she thought. Susan was so stunned that she could hardly breathe. With suggestive language, she talked about what she wanted to do with him, and within a few days she lured him into sneaking out of his house in the middle of the night so they could meet for sex at a relative’s empty apartment. They began texting each other the next day, and it was clear that she had quickly begun pursuing him sexually.
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And a story began to emerge: While hanging out with some friends a couple weeks earlier, Josh had met a girl from another school.
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Her mind spinning in disbelief, Susan continued looking through the texts. There was no confusion about this message: “If you could have sex with me, would you?” She was struck by the fact that Josh and his friends seemed to text each other more than they actually talked. She waded through a couple hundred short, inane messages, more than slightly confused by the shorthand that kids use when texting. But Susan was completely unprepared for what she found that Saturday morning.
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When Susan and Tom gave 13-year-old Josh his first cell phone, they told him that they would occasionally look through his text messages.